"Alright, it's time to wrap this mother up"

Hairspray! It has currently taken over my life. I have loved being on the stage again. There is just nothing like the feeling you get performing. It has been incredible. I, also, have been playing the part of one of my dream roles "Penny Pingleton". I have loved every moment of it. By the time the show is ending each night my heart feels like it's gonna break. I just want it to keep going forever. Ever wonder what life would be like if it was a musical?

So I absolutely love making lists. So I've decided I'd like to make a list of my top dream roles I would like to play:

1. Velma Kelley "Chicago"

2. Eponine "Les Miserables"

3. Penny Pingleton "Hairspray"

4. Ado Annie "Oklahoma

5. Mrs. Lovett "Sweeney Todd"

6. Adelaide "Guys and Dolls"

7. Audrey "Little Shop of Horrors"

8. Maureen "Rent"

9. Mary Lane "Reefer Madness"

10. Margot "Legally Blonde the Musical"

11. Princess Fiona "Shrek the Musical"

12. Sally "Your a Good Man Charlie Brown"

13. Lola "Damn Yankees"

14. Gertrude McFuzz "Seussical"

15. Mayzie la Bird "Seussical"

I may be a Senior in college, but I still wish I had my kindergarden nap mat

Back to school. Nothing is quite like the first day of classes. Especially the first day of your last spring semester. (I'm graduating next December) Right now I love all of my classes and am even signed up for 18 hours because I couldn't pick a class to drop because I like them all. From my kooky english teacher to my loud first aid professor- yeah I'm taking first aid, like the teacher said, "Easy A, Yall". I even am fond of my droning history of the media professor, even if we counting him saying "Uh" 35 times in less than 2 mintues. I have been in a bouncing good mood all day that is more than just syllabus week, I'm almost done. My hardest classes have been lifted from my shoulders and there is a near in sight.

Also, it doesn't hurt that every class lets out early on the first day and that every person you recognize looks excited to see you since we have all been cooped up at home for the last month and a half. The first day of class is just a good day overall. Know let's compare this reaction to my classes to my opinions of the same classes in 6 weeks....bet they differ slightly. :)

Start Over

So last semester I quit my blogging. Things got hard for awhile and I was sad. I lost a close friend. My world got turned upside down and when it got turned back right again I was so addicted to the high of being happy that I was worried if I stepped back and took the time to examine it anymore that I would lose it. So I didn't examine anything. Just went through on my ups and downs of clouds.

But, I'm back now and my new year resolution is to try and post a new blog once a week. Easier said than done, but life is good and what better way to show tribute to that than to document and savor it. So my happy thought now is memories...

The last few weeks I have had quite a few of my best friends that I had to say bye too. Whether they were going to exciting new places for study abroad, going back to school elsewhere, or starting new chapters of their lives far off goodbyes are never fun. Believe me, you don't want to be the girl left behind to just go on like they aren't supposed to be there anymore. This goes the same with losing loved ones. You still want to pick up the phone and call them anytime something exciting happens, but you know you can't anymore.

Well, as a twisted result of me and my stressed out little brain freaking out about all the goodbyes I have been having some freaking twisted nightmares lately. Revisiting Josh's funeral only my youngest brother is in the casket and everyone I love being there, but as soon as I reach out for them they disappear until it is just me and Hunter in the room and waking up sobbing seems to be my regular nightmare of choice lately. But don't fear if that's not sick enough there are others. It has been making all of this really difficult, but when I wake up in the middle of the night with only the hazy remains of the nightmare to keep me company (and my uncontrollable crying, of course) I have realized that these aren't neccesarily a bad thing. Yes, that sounds twisted and extremely messed up, but don't count me as a crazy just yet.

These nightly visions are showing me those who I care about most. Yes, I would rather they go away, but once I'm awake with them on my mind I visit some of the most cherished memories I have with these  people. Nights of driving around going on adventures or sitting by the bonfire on a late night. Girls nights that turn into mutiple days without us growing tired of each others company. Sitting and laughing till we cry and the stupdiest things. Sharing all of my secrets and being trusted with yours. Falling asleep with my head on your chest while listening to another movie that I was excited to watch fade into sleep because here is where I am comfortable. Smiles. Knowing looks. Jumping to you in a dance because I know no matter what you'll catch me. Just sitting at the dinner table and being obnoxiously vulgar at family gatherings. These are my prized memories. Nothing overly exciting, but to me they are all special because of the extraoridinary people I shared them with. Memories are the scars of life, some are haunting while others are make you smile whenever you visit them.

Memories, especially those involving loves ones, are your own personal sunshine when life keeps throwing nightmares and darkness. Just remember that perfect day and you can shake off any bad mood.

I try to believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

   While at the poster sale in front of the Union the other day, I had one mission on my mind...find the perfect poster to cover up the ugly brown wall by my bed. Since Becky, my roomie, has a huge caramel macchiato Starbucks poster staring at me from over her bed- I wanted one of my own that expressed more of who I am. Do you know how difficult it is to choose one piece of paper that can serve as decoration, statement, self identifier? VERY. Needless to say I was there for quite a while channeling my inner catepilliar with the constant question- Lindsey, "Whoooo are youuuuuu?". In the end I chose a Alice in Wonderland poster, naturally. It's very simple with mostly clouds (one of the clouds makes out the image of the white rabbit) and then Alice (not cartoon or recent Tim Burton Alice, but the back of a new one with darker hair) and the quote, "I can't explain myself because I am not myself, you see?"-Alice, reside at the bottom of the poster.
    Now obviously alot of thought went into my decision...so why a cartoon or image from a children's book?- you may wonder. Think about it. Alice is the only female classic disney character that exemplifies independence. There was no Prince to come in and make all her dreams come true....she made the entire wonderland herself, in her own dreams. She made it through the entire maze of wonders and terrors without some gleaming white teeth, hair flipping prince coming in, and she did all of this for herself- not to win the guy or for anyone else's approval. In fact, she did it to spite those who questioned her way about things. And that quote...it has always been a favorite of mine, but right now I feel that it rings truer then ever. "I can't explain myself because I am not myself, you see?" In a place in my life where I am discovering who I am, what I want to do, what my limits are, I'm discovering everything....I don't think I could answer the catepilliars simple question of "Whooooo are youuuu?" myself. I could give the facts. I am Lindsey. I am a girl. I am a student at Ole Miss. I am 20 years old. and on and on, but that is not who I really am. I do not think that I will be able to tell anyone who I really am until I am a little old wrinkled woman sitting in my rocking chair sipping on my sweet tea....then I can recall my life and tell you what kind of woman I really am...until then, I'm to busy being her to really learn anything. We learn from our mistakes, and I have had them- but until we have lived a full life I don't think anyone can really answer the question, "Whoooo are you?" fully and accurately.

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? "

"I'm just going to tranquilize a cute boy, put him in a Hawaiian shirt, and drag him to date party."- Hannah Weiland

Smiles for the day go to my sisters.

I never thought I would like being in a sorority. Movies make it out to be catty bitches all the time, but its really not like that. These girls are geniune, and they care about each other so much. Right now I'm sitting on the back patio with Liz soaking up some sunshine and I havent felt this calm or at ease in awhile. I love waking up in the mornings and knowing I don't have to face the day alone. I go eat breakfast with a table full of great girls, I go to class and in most of my classes I sit with them, lunch, dinner, naptimes, game nights, sleepovers- it makes the days easier to face because you know where ever you are on campus you will most likely run into one of your sisters who will smile and ask how you are....and really care how you respond. I know super cheesey blog- but these are the girls that are changing me into the lady I am growing into and make me smile for different reasons everyday.

"You don't go to college to find your husband, you go to find your bridesmaids"

The Beginning

Hi. 
   So I am a girl who loves her diary, but in this new age carrying around a little book to scribble in seems almost quaint-but not in a complemantary way. This brings me here, I have decided to try and brave my apprehension about sharing my thoughts on such a public stage and just jump in. 


   My goal for this blog is to jot down the happy moments, the things that make me smile, the parts of life worth re-reading and re-living in the years to come. I want to make this blog a special place and try and keep all of my negativity at bay here....yeah... good luck with that, right? But hey it's just a goal, not a rule. 


   Well, I only have a few more hours with my mom and Brody before I head back to school. Hopefully, I'll have some happiness to explode on this page with soon. 


till then,
Z